Qualifications:
+ over 3 B films to his credit
+ Born underwater to a French hillwoman
+ Passed away years ago, NEWC condolences
+ Revived for the NEWC by our research department
+ Claimed to be a gong, made gong sounds
+ Periodic convulsing enima trick award winner
+ Dragged by a camel across Africa (2 yrs)
+ Mixed meat with Vodka for a "Carlos Martini"
+ Was never considered a fine actor at any time, under any circumstances
+ Featured in upcoming NEWC special on gongs
