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the New Electric World Commentary
Beverage Guide #2

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Searching the world for the finest in drinkable beverages, Chamberlain is proud to recommend the following products that will tantalize your pallete and delight your company

Product: Sweet Cluck
Winery: Skleen
Origin: Austria
Description: Bitter grass, hint of marmalade, burnt rubber. Perfect for sports outing. Superb with canned fish, leather clothes, soft hands.
 
Product: Chardanimp
Winery: Kidabrugha
Origin: Australia
Description: Shrimp Chardanay. Shrimp, brine, oak, butter.Robusto. Solid with a bullet. Excellent with yams, eggs. Not for first date, frivolous hearts.
 
Product: Shalimar
Winery: Klaughnque
Origin: Finland
Description: Clove, gamy foul, toasted olive, raisin overtones. Derived from hemp. Swallow with big gulps. Glittery finish. Best if drank in morning, left uncorked.
 
Product: Elvis Limited
Winery: Varsity Hair Club
Origin: Kansas
Description: Whiskey overtones, cigarette bouquet, hint of metal. Use as bath oil or dinner drink. Lubricant, laxative. Stinks, but packs a wallop.
 
Product: Griswald
Winery: Brool Mortuary
Origin: Canada
Description: The Brool Mortuary has released this years bin of Griswald. True to form, this years bottling is dry as talc, but brings on that old familiar cross-eyed sweat soon enough. Brool refuses to disclose what Griswald is, but at this years discount price, who cares!
 
Product: Cabernoil Sauvanees
Winery: Out Back
Origin: So. Dakota
Description: Soil, cheese and Cabernet Sauvignon. Gala flavors add value to home cheeses, candywine and dinnerbreads. Wide open but cagey.
 
Product: Strewn Chimpee
Winery: Numnum Uya Num
Origin: Kenya
Description: Animal flesh, fresh peach, pinenuts. Blood comes to the pallet. Swish and savor. Mix with chutney and Galeano and pass through fire - voila !Gonzalez Martini !
 
Product: Gurgla
Winery: Porto do luno
Origin: Portugal
Description: Half white, half red. INtensly bitter, acrid. If you can stand it, water it down and drink with fever beans and habenero pepers. Wow! she'd right !
 
Product: Winettes
Winery: Ruddymaid
Origin: Scottland
Description: Fine wine bullion cubes. Perfect for travel. Immensly popular in Africa, meakes North American debut this fall. Mix with hundreds of liquids for an array of concoctions.
 
Product: Simas Kudirka
Winery: Jubda Lung
Origin: Russia
Description: In memory of the famous Russian defector. Light, bright. Right with Sprite for a tight night's delight.